Blind Wish
by Jasmine Dragon
Summary: Toph mysteriously gets a genie's powers, and is forced to grant her unknowing friends' wishes. Hilarity ensues.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Do not own.**

Things had gotten monotonous for the group at the Western Air Temple.

Katara would do the cooking, the cleaning, the yelling, and pretty much everything else required to keep her little family functioning. Sokka would provide the comic relief, and try to find some meat for dinner, whilst Zuko would train Aang till his butt hurt (which happened more often than you'd think), and Aang would make faces behind Zuko's back when he thought he wasn't looking.

Toph would just watch, and make things more interesting for everyone; and maybe throw in a sarcastic comment here or there.

It all started the day Katara found a funny looking vase, with a thin, pinched bottle neck, whilst searching for incriminating evidence against Zuko, or, as she liked to call it, 'looking for cooking pots'".

It resembled a vase she had seen in Toph's house, and thought it would liven up Toph's messy room a bit, make it feel more homely.

So she went into the earthbender's room, and placed it gently beside her bed, and though nothing of it as she left to get dinner started, and think of ways to be nasty to Zuko.

x-x

Toph didn't notice the vase till the next morning when she woke up as she heard Zuko leave his room early in the morning to wake Aang up for training. The earthbender rolled over; yet found it difficult to fall back to sleep. She sighed, cracked her knuckles and stretched her arms, yawning.

Her fist connected with the vase, which fell to the floor with a dull 'thud!'

The girl frowned and picked up the (surprisingly heavy) vase and felt at the material it was made of.

Suddenly, it rattled, and felt a lot lighter.

"You dropped me!" An indignant voice shouted.

"Who said that?"

The voice just grunted in response. Before Toph could stand, the voice sounded:

"_For now I will your planet roam_

_Whilst you reside inside my home_

_I'll rent you my power, I'll loan you my skill_

_Make of them what you will._

_Grant the wishes of your friends_

_I'll be back before week's end_."

With that, Toph was trapped inside the vase, banging on the side of the metal she was unable to bend.

"Let me out!" she shouted, to no avail.

-X-_Meanwhile_-X-

"Ugh, Zuko, I get it! Aim for the groin! Why are you making me practice my aim a dummy that looks like Jet anyway!"

"Our time's running out! The comet is only weeks away!"

The avatar sighed.

"I know, I wish we didn't have just three weeks left."

Zuko froze of a moment, confused.

"We don't. We have two."

"WHAT?"

Toph stared at the scene. She had no idea how, but she appeared right in the middle of the sparring arena, her hands quivering from the moment Aang said 'I wish'.

Somehow, neither of them seemed to notice her.

"Guys!" she shouted, but neither of them acknowledged her presence.

And then Ty Lee was in front of her.

She threw rocks at her, but they always seemed to pass right through her. Stranger still, Ty Lee wasn't even moving.

"Look," the girl said, flicking her wrist so the boulder Toph had raised crashed down onto her toe.

"I can tell you why they can't hear you."

Toph glared menacingly at the girl before her.

"You should know that I don't fear you." Ty Lee said.

"No kidding." The earthbender said. "You rhyme."

"I shall explain it to you, in time."

Toph rolled her eyes

"I'm Hai Lee.

A genie.

My sister got the flexibility.

I got the magical ability.

The way you dropped my vase was wrong.

But you won't have to suffer long.

Just do my job for a week or so,

Granting wishes, you know how it goes.

Just point your fingers, think of a spell,

Everyone's happy, it all works out well.

Let me have my break, then I'll go away,

And warn Zuko about Jet – I think he might be gay."

And on that note, Hai Lee vanished, leaving an angry and confused Toph wondering how to make herself visible.

"Well…" She said, blowing her hair out of her eyes, "Here goes nothing…"

"_Let my friends see me, I miss them…"_

"Wait. What rhymes with 'them'? Stem, hem, phlegm…. Oh this won't work!"

She thought for a moment, and folded her arms over her chest.

"_Sugar queen's too sweet, and sparky's too formal,_

_But I miss them, so make everything seem normal!_"

She woke up in her room, her hair a mess, and the menacing vase lying innocently on the floor. She picked it up and placed it back on her bedside as she tried to bend it, but to no avail. Soon, her mind drifted, as she thought about her new ability, as her fingers absentmindedly tugged on her hair, which she tried to tame. After a moment of struggling, getting her fingers tangled in her hair, then yanking them out and tripping in the process, she face palmed and muttered:

"I wonder…" Then, after a moments pause;

"_About my appearance, I really don't care_

_But Katara would freak, so just fix my hair._"

She felt around her head. Perfect.

"Sweetness." She grinned.

She walked out of her room to a scene of utter confusion, yelling, anger and the sound of fire meeting water with a hiss. She sighed happily. Witnessing Zuko and Katara fight was, in her opinion, the best way to start the morning.

Unfortunately, it ended all too soon, and Zuko walked away to sulk, and Katara to take out her frustration on someone else (Sokka, she decided, because he was _still_ asleep. How could he not have heard Aang yell?)

Wishing to be nowhere near Katara this time of month, Toph followed Zuko.

"Hey pouty!" she called. To be honest, Zuko didn't mind his nickname when it was 'sparky', but he found the nickname 'pouty' to be completely unjust. Really, it made him seem completely stiff and humourless!

"Why can't you just call me 'Zuko'?" the boy asked, exasperated.

Toph paused. "Why can't you keep Katara from acting like an over protective mother in law for one single day?" she retorted.

Zuko sighed.

"I almost did once."

"I know. I think it was a Tuesday."

He nodded.

"So, what happened this time? Twinkletoes get a paper cut? Stub his toe?"

The firebender pulled up his sleeve.

"Well," he started, "I got this scar because Aang woke her up." He said, pointing. "And this one because he didn't know the comet was coming in two weeks. And this one because she thought his arrows looked too blue. Suspiciously blue."

Toph laughed. "You know, I can't actually see what you're pointing at."

"Sorry. You know, I wonder why you call her sugar queen. She's as evil as my sister sometimes…." He sighed. "I just wish she didn't hate me so much."

Toph's eyes widened. Then she decided to enjoy her temporary powers,

_"Since I've got to grant his wishes,_

_Let Katara cover Zuko with kisses!"_

"Oh, Zuzu!" Katara called out, in a high-pitched voice.

Zuko's good eye widened, and his scar began to burn. That high pitched voice! Those red eyes! Those slits for nostrils! And a raspy, asthmatic voice breathing "I am your father!" – wait. No. maybe Azula was right calling him a schitzo. But more pressing matters were at hand. He screamed, and attempted to put a decent bit of distance between himself and the water.

"Oh, don't be silly Zuzukins! Come here!"

He didn't have time to run further, before the waterbender froze him to a tree. She giggled.

"Now, doesn't _this_ seem familiar?" And she began to kiss him - on the forehead, on the cheeks, on the nose, on the lips, the chin, the jawline, the neck, the collarbone…

Toph's eyes widened as she quickly turned and tried to block out the images she was receiving, silent sadistic laughter playing on her lips as she ignored Zuko's muffled sounds of protest, that were beginning to sound half hearted…. Maybe she should have worded the spell differently….

x-x

Dinner that night was awkward. Once Katara had, quite literally covered Zuko with kisses, her resentment returned, tenfold.

"Honey?" Zuko asked tentatively.

"What did you call me?" Katara yelled, knocking the bowl of honey straight out of his hand.

"Oh." Was all she had to say, as she shot a glare at an amused Sokka who was failing to hide his laughter.

Toph snorted

"What's the matter Sugar Queen?"

"Nothing!" Katara sounded indignant.

"…. I can tell you're lyyying…."

"Ask Zuko!" She said furiously.

"Alrighty. Zuko, did anything _unusual_ happen to you today?"

"Nope." Zuko responded with a grin, making a 'pop' sound at the 'p'.

The group looked at Toph.

"He's…. telling the truth."

"WHAT?" Katara's face turned red with outrage. "So you're trying to tell me-"

Katara snapped her mouth shut and returned to her dinner with a look of utmost rage and disgust on her face.

"Tell us what?" Aang asked.

"Yeah Katara, what happened? You've been acting stranger than… well, stranger than usual." Sokka said.

"I do not act strange!" The waterbender proclaimed.

"Well… there was that one time you stalked Haru obsessively till he got a restraining order…" Sokka started.

"Not to mention when you went all hormonal on Jet…" Aang added.

"And when you had that fortune-teller recite your entire biography…"

"Oh! Don't forget challenging a master to a waterbending fight!"

"And thinking it would be a good idea to take _me_ to a spa!" Toph chimed in.

"Haha! And the time you offered to heal my scar!" Zuko laughed, slapping his knee.

The group became deathly quiet. An awkward silence ensued.

"And remember the time you asked me to earthbend you into a room with Jet and Haru?" Toph broke the silence.

It was her turn to be stared at.

"What?" She pointed at Aang. "Now you make up something about her!"

Aang mentioned something about 'hopeful optimism' and the group's conversation resumed to normal, before Zuko decided it was time to get the tea.

The four of them groaned the minute he left. Zuko's tea was terrible. Katara had had to check if he was poisoning the tea one time. Unfortunately, that day, Zuko needed to take a bathroom break before bringing the tea…. Needless to say, things didn't end well.

"I really wish we didn't have to endure his tea…" Sokka said.

"You endure it?" Aang asked surprised. "I just toss it away when he's not looking. Like Katara does with most of our stuff."

As Sokka, Aang and Katara became absorbed in the ensuing argument; Toph chose that moment to whisper:

_"Zuko's bad tea messes with snoozle's head,_

_So let him bring out cactus juice instead!"_

Zuko came to them, and handed everyone a cup of what looked like steaming jasmine tea.

Toph threw hers at a nearby tree, which promptly shuddered, and shed all of its leaves. Everyone was too busy staring at their cups to take any notice.

Sokka, brave as usual, tentatively took the first sip.

"Hey! This isn't half bad!" he said, as he glugged the whole ting down in one gulp.

Aang looked at his cup, sniffed it, and he too threw it behind his shoulder. Then began the flurry of 'Hehe – Zuko, did you face palm while firebending?" and "Firelord Ozai sells cabbages in his free time?" brought about by an (only slightly) tipsy Sokka.

Unfortunately, it was too late for Zuko and Katara, both of whom had taken sips from the 'tea'.

"Toph… what's going on?" Aang asked quietly, as Katara turned to a tree, lecturing it about 'trust' and 'betrayal' and 'I don't care how good you look without a shirt on, youre mean zuzu-pants.'

Toph shrugged. "I'm guessing… cactus juice."

"but… why would Zuko give us cactus juice? He's Zuko! He never likes having fun!"

"…. Maybe he heard your comment about his tea?" Toph shrugged.

Aang swallowed, looking over at Zuko, who was attempting to impersonate Ty Lee.

"Look! I'm flexible and I can shoot lasers from my eyes! No. Wait…." He giggled.

Aang shuddered.

"Hoo boy. I wonder if they'll remember this when they… you know… cool off." Toph smirked.

"if they don't – " Aang looked at Katara, who was hanging upside down from a tree branch, talking to Momo who was struggling to escape. "-We never bring it up again."

"You kidding? Man, I wish we could record this somehow!"

Unfortunately, genies were never meant to grant their own wishes.

"Well, I don't." Aang said firmly, as Katara bent over to Zuko, saying something about how she's into the 'quiet mysterious type' and how much she wanted to the 'Blue Spirit to save her from the pirates'.

Aang shook his head. "How does she even know – ugh. Never mind."

Zuko bent her over and whispered "my heart burns for you!" in a not-so-quiet manner, before dropping her and running over to Toph and asking for her blessing.

That moment, Sokka nudged Aang with his foot, rested a hand on his head, saying 'You know Azula, if you weren't a psychopathic maniac, and Zuko's sister… we would totally be making out right now." He winked.

Aang backed away slowly from Sokka, who had turned to a moonless sky, promising Yue that after his death he'd belong to her again.

"I really wish the effects would wear off and they'd all just fall asleep soon." Aang muttered, trying to hide from Sokka.

Toph tried to resist granting the wish, but soon found herself saying,

"_Aang can't share in his friends' delight_

_So let them drift into a dream-filled night"_

And with that, the entire company, including Aang, suddenly became exhausted, and dragged themselves into their beds, where they fell straight to sleep for the next eight hours.

Toph cracked her knuckles and laughed to herself. It was going to be an entertaining week.

**A/N: Review! And tell me whether to continue it or not. Suggestions on 'wishes' would be great! =)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Do not own.**

The following morning was… fuzzy. Honestly, there was no other way to describe it. Zuko, thanks to his super-human firebender, "I-rise-with-the-sun-and-yet-am-_not-_a-morning-person" powers, awoke as the first rays of the sun hit the sky.

Now, in hindsight, _that_ was his first mistake. His second, was stretching as he yawned into the silence of the early pink dawn. But really, that can be excused. He was, after all, largely hung-over, slept on (what he thought was) an oddly shaped log, because he was nowhere near his tent when his eyes opened, and he was sore, trying to remember the events of the previous evening. Groggily, he sat up on his "I-_swear_-I-thought-you-were-a-log!" _That _was Zuko's third, and seemingly final, mistake.

"_What_ are you doing?"

Apparently, waterbender's did _not_ experience hangovers. Nor did they let the early hour keep them from physically beating a certain firebender off her sore and aching stomach, and water-whipping him as he yelped, too hung-over to firebend, still too sleepy to panic, as much as Katara wanted him to, and still too drunk to think of a tactical way out of this situation.

"You slept _where?"_

"I swear! I didn't know it was you! I thought you were a log!"

WHACK. Wrong answer.

"_Why _would you think that? _Idiot!"_

"I- I think I accidently gave you guys cactus juice last night!"

WHIP!

"I'm sorry! You felt all hard and stiff!"

"_Excuse _me?"

Oh Agni. Now he was going to get it. He ducked behind rocks, trees, and even Aang, which only served to displease Katara further ("If I hurt him, it's _your _fault!")

Sokka and Toph watched on, as the prince of the Fire Nation, heir to the throne, the Avatar's firebending teacher and the only person to have defied the Fire Lord and lived, was nearly brought to tears by an angry waterbender.

"I hope they don't make a habit out of this. I need my beauty sleep."

"I'll say."

"…. That was unnecessary, Toph."

He winced as her fist connected with his arm. For a helpless little blind girl – he shot a sideways glance at the earthbender. He felt unsafe even _thinking _of her as a helpless little blind girl. And he wouldn't be surprised if the human lie detector could read minds too. And Toph's devilish smirk was not helping.

"Katara not the face! Anything but the face!"

"You know, as the Avatar, I really should put a stop to this." Aang said mildly, as Katara proved she had been listening to Zuko's firebending advice – "_always aim for the groin Aang. You can't go wrong."_

"Nah." His friends chimed in.

"Ow! Ow! Katara! _Please!_ The face! The face! Go back to hitting the face!" If anybody cared for him up there at all, could they _please, please_ strike him down now? Agni, could he please get sober enough to firebend back at her? Hiding behind twelve-year-olds was getting humiliating.

"You can't hit the scar! That's against the rules!"

"Oh, I _make_ the rules, Zuzu."

Ouch. He was guessing the offer to heal the scar didn't stand anymore, now did it?

"Ugh! I wish I didn't _have_ the stupid scar! Maybe then you wouldn't be going so crazy!"

_"What?"_

Ohhhhhh… This was going to be too good.

_Zuko doesn't want his scar one bit_

_So for now let's get rid of it!_

A puff of blue smoke and a flash of white light – and Katara erupted into a coughing fit. Zuko mildly patted her back, only to be glared at as Katara raised her hand to poke him in both eyes at once when –

Her jaw dropped. She was looking at a god.

"What?" Zuko asked, tentatively.

_"Zuko?_" She asked incredulous.

Zuko's look of confusion deepened. Maybe the cactus juice was kicking in again.

"Who else would I be?" he asked gently. She was finally calming down, and he was going to do anything to keep her that way.

"But- but" she spluttered. "You're BEAUTIFUL!"

And she promptly burst out crying, and hugged him round the waist. The cactus juice was _definitely_ kicking in.

"_What?_" Aang shouted, running to tear the two apart. He was the Avatar! Nobody was allowed to exceed him in prettiness. (This was, unfortunately, Fire Lord Ozai's final thought before scarring and banishing his only son.)

"Wait wait wait a minute!" Sokka announced. "Zuko wishes for his scar to be gone, and suddenly it disappears? I wish we didn't have to endure Zuko's tea and we get cactus juice instead?"

He paused for a moment.

"There's some more freaky bendy magic going on isn't there? Okay, wise guy whose magic bending! I wish for a double – no triple decker sandwich with tender lizard-chicken and lion-beef jerkey!"

Toph sighed.

_Whip up a sandwich that can't be beat_

_And give Sokka some food to eat!_

"OH MY GOD!" Came Sokka's cry, followed by "Thank you The Universe!" as he began scarfing down what might just be the most deliciously tender sandwich _ever._

"Wait, what's going on?" Aang asked confused.

"So, so _pretty!_"

"You guys don't like my tea?"

"Magic bending spirit! I am the bridge between our two worlds! I am the avatar! Teach me magic bending O mighty spirit!"

There came no reply.

"_Pretty, pretty, pretty."_

"I DON'T HAVE MY SCAR?"

"Pretty, pretty precioussss…"

"Guys, I don't like how this spirit is messing with us. I'm gonna go have a look around and try to find it. Toph, make sure Zuko and Katara don't hurt themselves… or each other."

"My preciouss…."

"I'll be right back."

Xxxx

Katara, eventually, was forcibly separated from Zuko, and, eventually, after several splashes of water to her face, regained control of herself.

The same could not be said for Zuko, who, upon extricating himself from Katara, ran to his room to find his swords, and stared at his reflection. He was in love.

Xxxx

"Soo Toph. I've noticed none of _your_ particular wishes have come true so far." Sokka said, quite randomly later in the evening.

"Yeah? How do you know they haven't?"

"Aww… come on now Toph. There's gotta be _something_ you're wishing for."

"Nopes." She stated, managing to keep a blush off her face.

"Come on. I've seen you make googly eyes at Zuko!"

"Sparky? HAH! She wishes. And in case you haven't noticed, Katara would tear me to shreds if I came near him. Not that he'd notice." She gestured to the Fire Nation prince, who was currently looking for more reflective surfaces to gaze at himself in, muttering, "Now daddy _has_ to love me!"

Aang swooped down at that moment, exhausted. "I looked everywhere. I couldn't find the spirit. If it could just teach me magic bending, I could magic bend the world so that the war never started!"

"Aang, Aang, Aang. You could wish for anything in the world, and you wish for _peace_?" Sokka sighed. "Bending is _wasted_ on you."

"Yeah? Well if you think you can do it better, I'd _love_ to see you try Sokka!"

"You know what? Fine! I will!" Sokka said suddenly. He took a deep breath and turned to the heavens. "Oh mighty magic bender! Lend me your ears! Or um… whatever it is spirits listen with. Spirits don't listen with, like, their feet, like Toph, right Aang? Oh, right. Great magic bender! I wish I could… BEND!"

_Sokka wants to put himself to the test_

_Let him bend what he knows best_

But no wind ran through the western air temple. No fire erupted form Sokka's fists, nor did the earth or water obey him. The boy hunched over, disappointed. It was worth a shot.

Xxxx

Hours later, Zuko was still getting used to his new "pretty powers". While Katara, at first infatuated with his prettiness, slowly became immune to it, and threatened to give Zuko a few more scars "where the sun don't shine" when he tried to use his newfound scarlessness to get an extra piece of lizard-chicken in his dinner. Following this failed attempt, he attempted to charm Toph into – well nothing really. He just wanted to do it because he thought he could.

"See sparky. This is _why_ we all think you're stupid. I'm _blind_. And _twelve._ Jeez. You're a freaking creeper aren't you?"

He sighed, defeated. _How _did he become the fandom bicycle when he was incapable of charming a fruit fly? Not that he ever attempted to charm a fruit fly. How _would_ you charm a fruit fly anyway? He shook his head, confused.

xxxx

"You know, I wish Zuko had his scar back. This group was a lot more fun when he wasn't-"

"Pretty?" Toph smirked. Before she could draw her breath, Sokka said:

"Don't worry, Aang ol' pal. I'll take care of it." He took a huge swig of cactus juice (his own personal stash, and _no_ you may not have any Momo) and walked over to the fire nation prince, left admiring his reflection in the water.

"Fire bender he calls himself! HA! I bet Zuko couldn't even make a flame!"

"Er – Sokka. You've seen me firebend."

"HA! Firebending he calls it. Princess Zuzu is scared to play with fire!"

"For the millionth time! I'm not a woman! And stop calling me Zuzu! And I can too firebend! Just watch!"

And with that, he took a deep breath, and sent a flurry of spiralling all around him. Left, right, up, down, fire arced around in a graceful display, until –

"OHMYGOD!" Sokka shouted. "Toph is _blind_!"

Zuko's palm connected with his face before he could stop himself.

"Aaargh!" his cry echoed through the western air temple.

"You're welcome." Sokka said, to no one in particular before he belched loudly, and turned to fall asleep, clutching a struggling Momo.

**A/N: Oh lord this sucked. I need a beta - I can't write comedy to save my life. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, especially Random Reader - Thank you for the suggestion for a scarless Zuko, and Sokka being a bender! Speaking of which... Tell me. What _does_ Sokka know best? Food? Weaponry? Girls? Lurve? What should he be able to bend? Tell me what you think! :)**


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